In other words, we get in life what we try for: Our daily Thoughts, words, and actions will either make or break our marriage. We reap either joy or misery via the thoughts, words, and actions which we always cherish and nurture.
It is, therefore, within our power to Construct a joyful Marriage: Every couple ought to be able to do this by mastering the secrets: this calls for dedication, and actively striving with all of the spiritual and emotional resources within us, and lots and lots of prayers.
I've had a life-time of experience in union. I was Married over four decades ago at an unusually young age; I can honestly say I made my marriage work by following this simple formula. I have also dealt with family issues for over three decades as an imam.
This recipe for a successful union comes from reflections On the Prophetic legacy: The prophet's exemplary personality can definitely guide us in building a blissful marriage. The Prophet is indeed the best benefactor for us, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of our own lives.
So here are the 5 Cs of a successful marriage:
1. ConnectionThe relationship between married couples Can't be based on Infatuation, or even a purely physical attraction, or constructed on a fling; instead it has to be based on one's relationship with God, the Creator and Sustainer. By linking with God, we relate to a higher source of values that transcend our petty & selfish needs, concerns and desires.
Through this, we could anchor union on a business base. We become connected to each other not so much because of our own feelings, but as a result of our shared dedication to God. Even as tawhid or religion in one God joins us with everything around us, it ought to serve to nourish and strengthen a couple's bond. With faith and confidence in God, marriage establishes a spiritual bond that they treasure and rely on as they confront the challenges of existence. [For additional reading, you can also read an interesting article on top 5 online portals to buy abaya in the United Kingdom.]
Couples who are connected through tawhid become Partners and companions whose chief objective is to do the will of God together.
2. CompanionshipCompanionship Can't just happen: it must come from Shouldering one's duties, doing chores together, and sharing the ups and downs of life. The Prophet set an example for us through his own participation in daily chores.
By doing chores together and working on large and small Things, a few cements their ties, and builds trust and mutual love for one another. This is the most powerful recipe for developing a lasting relationship.
Companionship is further strengthened by nurturing Compassion; which ought to stem from recognition of the truth that one's partner a part of oneself. God teaches us in the Quran he created spouses for us from among ourselves. Thus, by recognizing each other as an extension of ourselves, we exude peace and tranquility in relating to each other. This is the nearest thing to a foretaste of heaven: tranquility created of mutual affection and love.
3. CompassionCompassion is reflected in acting kindly and easily: God tells us that this is the foundation of authentic joy in union. The Prophet -- as attested to by his companions and wives -- was full of compassion: they knew of no-one more compassionate and loving to his family. Aisha further said that the Prophet was consistent in this, along with of his other excellent character traits.
4. CompromiseCompromise is another crucial ingredient to happiness in marriage. This can only come from awareness of a person's weaknesses and the strengths of their spouses, or from greater spiritual consciousness like that of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
This was the secret to the Prophet's achievement in forging and Uniting individuals, and is precisely the identical principle he advocated for attaining pride and pride in union. Authentic compromise means that both parties will still feel respected and that their needs have been met. For example, a Muslim wife can make a compromise by leaving one of her rights as a Muslim wife and not complaining about it, in the love of her husband.
Both spouses are bound to find such a connection worthy of Investment, as it fulfills their innermost needs for love and respect. That is the reason the Prophet, when deadlocked in arguing over an issue with his beloved wife suggested that she find a third party to arbitrate the situation. You might wonder: How can the Prophet bring himself to do so? He did so to be able to put an example for each of us: that this is the best way to solve issues in marriage if a couple cannot do it themselves -- we will need to be happy to open up.
This openness should be shown in one's openness to Examine issues from the point of view of others; very frequently a husband and wife get trapped in their own narrow perspectives. Tawhid instructs us to look at the larger picture, and to think about issues from the view of the greater reality. This would offer a much better perspective of the circumstance, one closer to justice and truth.
5. ContentmentContentment is another very important element in a happy marriage. Happiness in marriage or life, for that matter -- can not be achieved without developing bliss. Contentment is the end result of somebody's sincere appreciation for God's blessings, and trust in God's Decree.
By consistently nurturing a strong connection with God, and Daily practice of these principles of calmness, compromise, and compassion, Contentment, couples may really make marriage work and worthy of celebration.